funny and not so funny (update)

It's funny if a well dressed, dignified man slips on a banana skin. It's not so funny if a tramp does it. But what if the rich guy fractures his skull, gets brain damage and becomes a vegetable? Is that funny? Depends on the vegetable. A cucumber is funnier than a potato but a potato is funnier than a mushroom. Comedy is in the detail. It's funny if your kid has an imaginary friend, but not so funny if your heart surgeon has one. In the following examples one could be funny and one is not so funny. Use your skill and judgment to tell which is which.


STRANGERS

1. A stranger smiles at you in the park.

2. A stranger smiles at you in the bath.

FINANCE

1. Bungling, inept bank robbers who keep getting caught.
2. Bungling, inept bankers who keep getting bonuses.

CARS
1. No sooner do you wash your car than a bird defecates on it.
2. No sooner do you wash your car than a neighbour defecates on it.

TECHNOLOGY

1. The crazy ring tone on your phone.

2. The crazy ring tone on anyone else's phone.

AIRCRAFT

1. Uh-oh, you're on a long flight and a baby is crying!
2. Uh-oh, you're on a long flight and the pilot is crying.

CLOWNS

1. A clown in a circus.     

2. A clown outside your bedroom window at 4AM.

YOUR MOTHER

1. You discover that your mother once wrote fan letters to Michael Jackson.

2. You discover that your mother still writes fan letters to Michael Jackson.

VOICES

1. Goofy voices a guy in your office keeps doing.

2. Goofy voices a guy in your head keeps doing.

CLUMSY IDIOTS

1. A clumsy magician.

2. A clumsy gynecologist.

POULTRY

1. A headless chicken runs around a farmyard.
2. A headless chicken runs around your kitchen.

DOGS

1. A dog chases its tail.

2. A dog chases its tail, catches it and eats it. 

AT THE ZOO
1. A monkey in the zoo masturbating.
2. A monk in the zoo masturbating. 

TV
1. You start laughing at a character in a TV show.
2. A character in a TV show starts laughing at you.

FLATULENCE

1. At a funeral the priest farts.

2. At a funeral the corpse farts.

BABIES

1. A tiny baby sneezes and looks surprised.

2. A tiny baby sneezes, looks surprised and curses, invoking Satan.

OBESITY

1. A very fat man gets stuck in the doorway of a fancy restaurant.

2. A very fat man gets stuck in the doorway of a burning restaurant.

HANGOVERS

1. You wake up and can't remember where you left your car.

2. You wake up and can't remember where you left your kids.

TRAINS

1. A priest runs for a train, his suitcase flies open and female underwear falls out.

2. A priest runs for a train, his suitcase flies open and female body parts fall out.

HEALTH

1. A doctor tells a patient, "I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that you have cancer. The good news is  that I finally screwed the receptionist last night!"

2. The patient is you.