funny and not so funny (update)

It's funny if a well dressed, dignified man slips on a banana skin. It's not so funny if a tramp does it. But what if the rich guy fractures his skull, gets brain damage and becomes a vegetable? Is that funny? Depends on the vegetable. A cucumber is funnier than a potato but a potato is funnier than a mushroom. Comedy is in the detail. It's funny if your kid has an imaginary friend, but not so funny if your heart surgeon has one. In the following examples one is funny and one is not so funny. Use your skill and judgment to tell which is which.


CLOWNS

1. A clown in a circus.     

2. A clown outside your bedroom window at 4AM.


FINANCE
1. Bungling, inept bank robbers getting themselves caught.
2. Bungling, inept bankers getting themselves huge bonuses.


CARS
1. No sooner do you wash your car than a bird defecates on it.
2. No sooner do you wash your car than a neighbour defecates on it.

TECHNOLOGY

1. The novelty ring tone on your phone.

2. The novelty ring tone on anyone else's phone.

YOUR MOTHER

1. You discover that your mother once wrote fan letters to Michael Jackson.

2. You discover that your mother still writes fan letters to Michael Jackson.

VOICES

1. The goofy voices a guy in your office does.

2. The goofy voices a guy in your head does.

CLUMSY IDIOTS

1. A clumsy magician.

2. A clumsy gynecologist.

CRAZY DAMES

1. Lucille Ball in I Love Lucy.

2. Sarah Palin in the White House.


POULTRY
1. A headless chicken runs around a farmyard.
2. A headless chicken runs around your kitchen.

SCIENCE

1. An absent-minded professor gets his experiments mixed up.

2. An absent-minded pharmacist gets your prescription mixed up.

DOGS

1. A dog chases its tail.

2. A dog chases its tail, catches it and eats it. 


TV (1)
1. Out-takes and bloopers from TV shows.
2. Out-takes and bloopers from TV shows repeated endlessly on TV shows about out-takes and bloopers from TV shows, on TV, all the time.


AT THE ZOO
1. A monkey in the zoo masturbating.
2. A monk in the zoo masturbating. 


TV (2)
1. You start laughing at a character in a TV show.
2. A character in a TV show starts laughing at you.


FLATULENCE

1. At a funeral the priest farts.

2. At a funeral the corpse farts.

BABIES

1. A tiny baby sneezes and looks surprised.

2. A tiny baby sneezes, looks surprised and curses, invoking Satan.

OBESITY

1. A very fat man gets stuck in the doorway of a fancy restaurant.

2. A very fat man gets stuck in the doorway of a burning restaurant.

AIRCRAFT

1. The person next to you on a plane laughs while reading a book.

2. The person next to you on a plane laughs while reading the safety instructions.

HANGOVERS

1. You wake up and can't remember where you left your car.

2. You wake up and can't remember where you left your kids.

TRAINS

1. A priest runs for a train, his suitcase flies open and female underwear falls out.

2. A priest runs for a train, his suitcase flies open and female body parts fall out.

HEALTH

1. A doctor tells a patient, "I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that you have a week to live. The good news is  that I finally screwed the receptionist last night!"

2. The patient is you.

           

I'll update these periodically. Come up with your own examples. Comments welcome.